Raptors at Spurs: Starring Tony Parker’s tailor

If NBA basketball was analogous to playing Street Fighter, the Raptors would be the dude who knows every combo, every chain, every special move in the entire game. Glaring achilles heel? Toronto is unaware there is such thing as “blocking”. Like, I’m not even talking about knowing when to block. The Raptors don’t know blocking exists. This becomes noticeable after taking 15 dragon punches to the face.

With this offensive (literally and figuratively) mentality,  The Raptors posted 124 points in regulation, shooting .592 per cent from the field and nailing 11 of 17 attempts from long distance against the Spurs on Monday. Toronto lost the game.

If you didn’t watch the game, or even if you did, read that last paragraph and try to just make sense of it with a rational basketball mind. That San Antonio — sans Tim Duncan and Tony Parker — managed to put up 131 points in regulation to walk away with a win is simply an unbelievable, untenable fact. I saw most of this crime against basketball (when I was not burying my head in my hands) and yet, my mind remains blown by what I witnessed.

Sadly, this is not an original screenplay. The Raptors again were felled by poor rebounding, poor late game execution and a porous, inexcusably awful defensive effort.

NBA Thursday: Starring Manu’s bald spot

Watching tonight’s ESPN doubleheader, the unavoidable thought in my mind was how different the NBA would be if Carlos Boozer had stuck around in Cleveland. Booze is exactly the type of mobile scoring big man that would make LeBron even more of a monster. Imagine Boozer at the four alongside Varejeo or Big Z at the 5 depending on the matchup? Scary stuff.

Chicago at Cleveland

If I’m a Cavs fan, even though it’s only been five games into the season, I am officially very, very worried. Chicago was incredibly mediocre on both sides of the ball but because Cleveand’s offense was so inept, the Bulls ground out an ugly road win despite poor shooting and broken execution.

Charles Barkley provided some actual basketball insight in wondering why Mike Brown keeps trotting Shaq and Big Z out there at the same time. The Cavs’ twin towers have trouble guarding mobile bigs in the pick and roll and neither of them command a double team on offense. That same big lineup got burned in Toronto repeatedly as well, so what gives? In my mind, it’s the Kevin Durant phenomena — except in reverse.